Ok so....after dealing with death on two people...and the realization that my older boys prefer "new" mom to thier real mom. I cracked....literally cracked. I let off some steam on my myspace page in just 4 short sentences. Got the point across. Was it a good point?...no.....did it make people mad?.....yes. I apologized but you know what to a degree as bad as it seems, I'm really not that sorry.
I had been soooo nice to this person and was repeatedly verbally knocked down to my face as well as to others. I sought assistance from this person in dealing with the kids as a team and still this person was rude and when I was able to reform some friendship with the kids dad this individual went nuts on that. Hello.....I divorced him for a reason!!! You can keep him....
Anyway to make a rather long best selling novel story short....I messed up. By letting my anger and irritation get to me...this person has systematically taken over my two older boys and has been working on the youngsters at times...and the big bad momma bear reared her ugly head. I am the garden where those precious flowers bloomed. And as a mom I will not go quietly in the night....I will not give up on my children.....unless the Lord calls them home.
Was I wrong in what I did?....yes....will I do it again?...no....will I fight for my kids?....YES!!
What have learned? Patience in waiting on God is not my strong suit. I know that He knows what is going on....I keep wondering when He is going to do something about it...maybe He has and I don't see it...I'm not sure....so I try to wait it out...and all the while pine away for those lost cubs. A heartbroken mother....
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